We all know how important self-care is especially living in these uncertain, trying times.  But it can go wrong if it’s seen as something we think we have to do and not really enjoy it then it becomes problematic when it’s used as a quick fix for immediate gratification to cover up what’s really going on instead of facing the root causes.

But it feels so good!

Just because something feels good, doesn’t mean it’s good for you.  Very often self-sabotage masquerades as self-care and we use things to numb ourselves.  Instead of nurturing and restoring our well-being, we turn to things like shopping, food, drink as ways to escape daily life and run from things that don’t make us happy and justify the reasons as why we are doing it like ‘I deserve this cake’ we turn to indulgences or turn inward as a way to self-soothe.  Keeping busy in our day to day life give us some purpose but when we feel overwhelmed we escape by drinking excessively, sleeping too much, have too much sex, too much tv, overeating etc.

Self-Soothing isn’t Self-Care

Now don’t get me wrong, self-care is very essential but please don’t confuse it with self-soothing.  Whenever you find caring for yourself turns into a distraction or some sort of avoidance, it’s time to pause and think why this is happening why are you acting/feeling this way? Self-care is so much more than relaxing and taking a bath and distressing that’s just a part of it.  It’s all about finding rewarding habits that are sustainable and nurture you instead of draining you.

Real self-care is all about digging into the root cause of your insecurities or triggers that leads to stresses and facing them instead of running from them.  It’s not all bubble baths, footbaths, manicures and pedicures; it’s also about your mental and physical health.

Let’s face it, we all self-sabotage sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it isn’t our thoughts both positive and negative can dictate our behaviour.  Recognising that we have the choice to change our mindset and the way we react to situations is the first step to fulfilling our goals and allowing ourselves to feel accomplished.

Why do we do it?

So why on earth do we do it? Well there are multiple reasons as to why.  Many of us will set ourselves up for failure as deep down; we don’t believe we are worthy. The new year is fast approaching and most of us will be planning out new resolutions, feeling determined, eating really well, working out how many times a week and doing far too much at one time and within a few weeks will end up crashing and don’t bother to do anything for a few months or even years then start beating ourselves up when we don’t accomplish what we want to achieve on our wish list.


Procrastination is another bad habit that creeps up on you.  Putting off something that you’ll will have to eventually face but sometimes, you just don’t have the headspace to deal with it.  Whatever it is that makes you self-sabotage, you have the ability to break the cycle by developing self-supporting behaviours which can be achieved by proper mindfulness and self-care by creating the right environment for you so you won’t get distracted.

Get More Sleep

Sleep is essential for productivity. Practicing and implementing quiet time free from electronic gadgets before bed, a time that you can dedicate to  your own well-being will help.  Try and get into a routine, get comfy and cosy, diffuse some essential oils such as Lavender, Rose, Chamomile, Sweet Marjoram, Bergamot, Clary Sage, Valerian, Sandalwood, Ylang Ylang.

Stay Focused and Energised

Keeping up your energy and focus once you are awake shouldn’t be forgotten either.  Try to eat nutritious foods that will give you energy and use essential oils that are citrus, zesty e.g. Lemon, Orange, Grapefruit that will give your mood a real boost of confidence and energy throughout your day.  Take time out to take in your surroundings or meditate for a few minutes in-between tasks will help you realise what you’ve achieved through the day and how to plan out what you need to do to finish your tasks and feel accomplished.

Massage Therapy

Massage Therapy is a great way to help calm your mind before stressful events.  People who opt for massages for health and well-being whether it’s weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly are more mindful of their bodies and what they need as it helps reduce stress and improve your mindset.


It’s so easy to self-sabotage but taking specific steps and actions that will help improve self-care and self-love will change your mindset and allow you to overcome negative thoughts and behaviours.

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