Pregnancy is often portrayed as a magical and joyous journey, filled with radiant mothers-to-be feeling empowered and positive, embracing their growing bellies with an air of bliss. However, the reality is that not every woman experiences this pregnancy glow or feels a deep sense of love for the entire process. It’s important to recognise that it’s perfectly okay not to love being pregnant, as each woman’s journey is unique and multifaceted.

The Complex Journey of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a complex and transformative experience that brings a rollercoaster of emotions, both physical and psychological. While some women may find joy and a deep connection to their changing bodies, others may face challenges that influence their feelings toward pregnancy.

Physical Discomfort

Pregnancy often comes with a range of physical discomforts such as nausea, fatigue, back pain, and swelling, sore breasts, acne, stomach pain, congestion & nose bleeds, constipation, insomnia, bloating, headaches, heartburn, haemorrhoids, leg cramps, shortness of breath, trouble with teeth and gums, frequent urinating, vaginal discharge, varicose veins.  These discomforts can make the experience less enjoyable for some women, impacting their ability to embrace the process fully.

Body Image Changes

Many women struggle with body image changes during pregnancy. The shift in body shape, weight gain, and the appearance of love lines (stretch marks) can trigger feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, which may contribute to not loving the experience. Keep reminding yourself that you are growing a little human – a beautiful gift.  While your body is changing it’s doing something so incredible.  Simply knowing that it’s doing it’s best to nurture and grow your little one is really helpful.   With all of these changes occurring, your post-pregnancy body can be stronger than it ever was before.

Hormonal Fluctuations

Hormonal changes during pregnancy can significantly affect a woman’s emotional state. Mood swings, anxiety, and even depression can be intensified, making it difficult for some women to connect with the emotional aspects of pregnancy. Pregnancy hormones are amazing and mysterious things.  These powerful chemicals not only grow a little human but also affect the mind and body.  They also play a big role in morning sickness and heartburn.  Your changing hormones will impact you and your little one in more ways than one.

Loss of Autonomy

Pregnancy often comes with lifestyle changes, dietary restrictions, and limitations on activities. For women who value their independence and autonomy, these changes can be challenging to navigate, leading to feelings of frustration. The minute someone announces they are expecting a baby, everyone wants a say in everything you do.  From what you eat, to how long you sleep, to whether or not you decide to stay pregnant, people will have opinions and in some cases legislations put in place that makes it impossible to make your own decisions about your own body. Stick to what is right for you. Hopefully you will have an understanding partner and Midwife that listens and respects your decisions.

Fear and Anxiety

The fear of the unknown, coupled with concerns about childbirth and parenting, can overshadow any feelings of happiness during pregnancy. These anxieties are normal but can contribute to a lack of love for the experience. Some women can feel distressed or guilty about feeling anxious or panicky when everyone expects them to be happy. Feeling anxious and fearful in pregnancy is very common more than 1 in 10 pregnant women experience this.  Don’t feel like you are a failure because you’re not coping.  Trust yourself. You’re the best judge of whether your feelings are normal for you.  If you are feeling anxious a lot or have panic attacks or feeling fearful about giving birth or any other concerns you may have during pregnancy, it’s important to reach out for help.

Unplanned Pregnancies

For those who didn’t plan on becoming pregnant, the shock and adjustment to the new reality can make it difficult to fully embrace the journey and can bring up many different mixed emotions. Be kind to yourself you may feel different about your options on different days and that’s ok. It’s important that you take the time you need to make the best decisions for you.

Coping Strategies

Acknowledging and addressing negative feelings during pregnancy is essential for emotional well-being. Here are some coping strategies for those who find themselves not loving the experience:

Seek Support

Talk to your partner, friends, or family members about your feelings. Sometimes, just voicing your concerns can help alleviate the emotional burden.

Professional Help

If feelings of sadness or anxiety become overwhelming, consider speaking to a mental health professional that specialises in maternal mental health.


Prioritise self-care activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, taking warm baths, or going for walks, these small acts can make a big difference in your emotional state. Making time for Prenatal Massage has many benefits. It relieves pain and discomfort, eases stress and anxiety, promotes sleep, reduces swelling, offers bonding time, increases body awareness and help you understand your body better can increase your ability to relax.

Stay Informed

Educate yourself about the physical and emotional changes that come with pregnancy. Understanding that your feelings are valid and shared by others can provide a sense of relief.

Connect with Other Mums

Joining support groups, either in person or online, can help you connect with other women who are experiencing similar feelings. Sharing stories and advice can be incredibly reassuring.

Pregnancy is an individual journey, and the emotions that accompany it can be complex and varied. It’s important to remember that it’s perfectly okay not to love being pregnant. What matters most is your emotional well-being and finding ways to cope with any negative feelings you might be experiencing. By acknowledging and addressing these feelings, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can navigate the challenges of pregnancy while prioritising your mental and emotional health. Remember, you are not alone in your experience, and your feelings are valid.

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